Do you have a child that seems more sensitive, strong-willed or anxious that you thought a child could be?
Or perhaps you think they’re more demanding, spirited or express more intense emotions than other people’s children?
Maybe all of the above? 💥💥💥
I know from experience that this can mean more feelings of overwhelm, more exhaustion and a lot more tears of frustration.
It’s easy to get lost in the helplessness of believing that you can’t cope or to drown in self-pity and a story of:
“Why me? What did I do to deserve this?”
You may believe your child is the problem; that there’s something wrong with them, they’re “too much”, and spend your life trying to fix them, calm them down, fight them or appease them.
Even more toxic is the belief that it’s your fault; that you caused your “problem child” to be this way. Those self-judgements will suck the joy right out of your life. They may pull you into blaming or shaming your child too.
What if there’s another way? ✨✨✨
What if this child is calling you to be more than you ever believed you could be?
Instead of doing more and more to change and improve your child, what if it’s time to focus on finding more calm, clear Beingness within yourself?
Less doing and more Being✨✨
This was the path I chose to take. It might sound like a cliche, but I assure you, it made a huge difference in my life.
It’s no quick fix, that’s for sure. I had to practice.
I had to focus within and tap into my inner world. There were feelings in there that I’d been hiding from for years. It was time to recognise and allow space for the resentment, guilt, grief and anger that I never wanted to see. All that darkness needs to be brought into the light of awareness.
I started to question the beliefs that were running my life and causing so much suffering:
Like the belief that my child’s behaviour or emotions were my fault or my responsibility to fix.
Or the belief that if I could only DO more to care for my child or be a better mother that everything would be fine.
As each belief surfaced into my awareness I asked “Is that really true?” and “How do I feel when I believe that?”
The results were surprising.
I saw that I had been following a script that had been handed down to me from others. I had been blindly obeying some old programming that wasn’t really true for me.
Once you question your old ways of thinking you start to find more peace in your day. Those old beliefs and old ways of doing things start to fall away.
There is an inner calm that is with you, even during the most intense days with your child.
You have more access to inner guidance. The gentle voice of your intuition and your heart’s knowing is clearer than ever before.
The pull to constantly try and fix, soothe or fight your child eases and you grow your capacity to be with your child without stress or struggle.
Your child might start to change, or they might not. But either way, you will be much more able to handle whatever comes your way. You’ll see new ways to support your child that don’t draw you into conflict or overwhelm.
Instead of feeling resentment, you will be able to meet this child that is “more” with acceptance and peace.
If you’d like to go deeper into yourself and to question your beliefs you can find more support in my book “Joyful Parenting” that is available on here on my website: https://www.freyadawson.com.au/joyful-parenting/