I was taught, by my parents and society, that I should strive to succeed, achieve and do worthy and lucrative work. In addition to that I should try and look a certain way and have a thin, healthy body; I should add to my knowledge and possessions and grow into a good daughter, friend and partner by caring for and serving others. When I became a parent I projected all of this striving, seeking and trying onto my role as a mother. It was an arrangement that was doomed from the start. The way that we define the role of “good mother” is an impossible ask.
It is hard enough to succeed, learn, work, stay healthy as a single person without kids. There’s a LOT to do to maintain your self-worth. It’s another thing altogether when you tie your worth as a mother to some young, unpredictable humans with their own unique direction in life.Continue Reading →